Accountability

Accountability. I use that word a lot. I want the kids to have it, I think some of the parents have it. I take a lot of it.

Why do my kids feel like it's my fault when they fail? Why don't they feel they need to remember what I taught them yesterday when they walk into my classroom today? How do you get it through their heads that if they are talking and texting during class, they are not going to learn anything? That in fact they will fail if they don't do the work, and that not doing homework is a surefire way to make sure you don't remember what you are supposed to learn.

At the same time though, isn't part of my job to find a way to engage them, so they are not talking, texting and leaving my classroom with none of the information I just tried to cram in their brains? I say I did not sign up to be an entertainer, that I signed up to be a teacher. But maybe I need to find a way to entertain them more. Maybe because they don't fully understand how my class will benefit them in the long run, I have to find a way to make it more fun.

Maybe it's a bit of both. When Wallace told me he couldn't learn because I needed to control my classroom, I would have laughed if it didn't make me want to cry. How can a student who is constantly causing a ruckus tell ME to control HIM? Shouldn't he learn to control himself? Will consequences and positive reinforcements actually do this? The math money is not working. It might work if I was more consistent about it, if I had good things for them to buy with their math money.

Regardless, somehow they need to stop blaming everyone else for not learning. Take responsibility and engage in your education. Take what has been given to you by tax money and make the most of it. Don't just waste it by barely getting by.

I watched an HBO documentary this week, "Hard Times at Douglas High," so much about this inner city high school in Baltimore looked just like Whites Creek High. The kids were rowdy, behind. and tested their teachers every day. They were also late for class and at risk of not graduating, or getting shot when they leave their house every day. There were scenes where the administrator blamed the teacher for the students shortcomings--"If 25 out of 35 kids are failing the class...." That's me. Those are my kids, all failing, despite my best efforts. Despite my 80 hour weeks, my sleepless nights, and the huge knots in my shoulders. I am trying so hard, but they are still failing. Is it really me? There are kids that are doing ok, am I helping them, or are they teaching themselves?

I don't think it's just one person's fault. It doesn't just rest with me, or my kids, or their families. It's a combination of all of us. It's finding ways to get to as many of them as we can. To inspire them and help them navigate their way through school and beyond.

I hope I am up to the challenge. I hope I can make them feel accountable and really want to achieve. Maybe even in Geometry.