After spending my weekend grading papers and trying to plan out my week (Literally, I was out of the house for about 9.5 hours, for the entire weekend), I realized that my geometry kids just weren't getting this triangle stuff. I made the executive decision to stop. To stop teaching new things and circle back. I also decided I wanted to try something new, no more worksheets and me talking at the board all day--let's do some group work and have them teach each other.
The question in my head was, can they handle it? Can they work together? Do they have the discipline to work instead of chat about their weekends? Do they know enough collectively that they can do these worksheets?
Decidedly, NOT. Well at least first period. I heard about how Brenna farts when she's nervous, the football team's loss on Friday, who went out with who, who's phone has a picture of a skeleton on it and of course that no one was going to pass this class because it was too hard and the teacher isn't helping them enough.
Amid F-bombs and N words, I would try to come over and help students with their problems (mind you, I gave them about 3 each and figured it would take 10-15 min to complete them, they took 45 and did not complete them.) When I would be there trying to help one, the other two would be talking about Brenna's farts. While I was standing a foot away from them. Seriously. At least I wasn't standing near Brenna. And then I would tell them stop talking and they would ask me why I didn't tell the other 24 people in the room talking to stop.....
So the gallery walk did not work. The groups only worked on their little piece of the puzzle and did not have a chance to learn from the others. I doubt they even learned what was on their paper. So I wasted 90 minutes of instructional time trying to remediate and failing miserably.
How do I get them under control? How do I help the understand this tough material?
Oh, did I mention their warm up today was a relatively easy Algebra 1 worksheet--a class they all should have passed to be in mine. NONE of them could do it. They all whined and complained that they did not remember how to solve equations with one variable.
50% is not proficient.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Drowning
Let's step back for a second. I keep talking about my kids--how tough they are to reach, the crazy things they do in class. And yes, that is tough. But let's not forget, that being a teacher, especially a first year teacher, in any school, no matter how motivated or prepared your kids are is really hard.
Think about your favorite class in high school. Maybe the one where the teacher had some cool activity planned every day, handouts to guide you through the lesson, and homework for each day figured out for you at the beginning of the unit, or even week. All of that takes organization, planning and an understanding of where the class has been, and where it is going. Not to mention knowing what you are going to tell your kids and how you are going to tell it so they get it. For every 90 minute lesson I teach, I spend about an hour making a lesson plan, a bellringer, guided notes and homework.
But teaching isn't just lesson planning. I also have to unit plan, so I know what objectives I am teaching every day. And it'd be nice if I printed out these unit plans and handed them to my kids at the beginning of every unit, but I haven't had a chance to do that, not to mention, because my kids can't seem to understand things, I get behind...
Let's add on top of all the planning, all the piles and piles of paper I collect every day. I have 65 students. If I collect just one piece of paper from each of them every day of the week, that is 325 pieces of paper that i need to have my eyes on, check and grade. Oh, and then I need to enter each thing into a grade book.
I think Jen Televik put it best. Imagine getting to work at 6:30am each day, only to be able to actually start working at 2:30 or 3 (depending on who stays for tutoring).
The sad part is doing the above is doing the bear minimum. My classroom isn't fully decorated, the kids are supposed to have jobs they don't have, I need to talk more about a big goal, I need call all 65 parents/guardians. There is also that whole thing called sleep, working out, being with other humans that are not under the age of 18....
TEACHING IS HARD WORK.
Thank a teacher next time you see one.
Think about your favorite class in high school. Maybe the one where the teacher had some cool activity planned every day, handouts to guide you through the lesson, and homework for each day figured out for you at the beginning of the unit, or even week. All of that takes organization, planning and an understanding of where the class has been, and where it is going. Not to mention knowing what you are going to tell your kids and how you are going to tell it so they get it. For every 90 minute lesson I teach, I spend about an hour making a lesson plan, a bellringer, guided notes and homework.
But teaching isn't just lesson planning. I also have to unit plan, so I know what objectives I am teaching every day. And it'd be nice if I printed out these unit plans and handed them to my kids at the beginning of every unit, but I haven't had a chance to do that, not to mention, because my kids can't seem to understand things, I get behind...
Let's add on top of all the planning, all the piles and piles of paper I collect every day. I have 65 students. If I collect just one piece of paper from each of them every day of the week, that is 325 pieces of paper that i need to have my eyes on, check and grade. Oh, and then I need to enter each thing into a grade book.
I think Jen Televik put it best. Imagine getting to work at 6:30am each day, only to be able to actually start working at 2:30 or 3 (depending on who stays for tutoring).
The sad part is doing the above is doing the bear minimum. My classroom isn't fully decorated, the kids are supposed to have jobs they don't have, I need to talk more about a big goal, I need call all 65 parents/guardians. There is also that whole thing called sleep, working out, being with other humans that are not under the age of 18....
TEACHING IS HARD WORK.
Thank a teacher next time you see one.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Fire in the Belly
No more despondence, no more scared, no more hyperventilating--well not at school anyway. At school, in my classroom, Don't mess with Ms. Sudow.
Sarah's quitting (the teacher that worked next door to me) only made me more determined. Only made me realize that these little sh-ts will NOT get the better of me. They will NOT rule my life and they will NOT act out in class. I will show up every day, and I will lay down the law.
Today I wore a full black suit, my hair pulled back, and a no nonsense attitude. I did not give kids warnings, I went straight to angry eyes. I told them to have a seat and get to work, just like I do every day, but today, there was more force behind it.
Today, after repeatedly telling him to be quiet, to pay attention and to stop distracting the class, and still he was talking, I told Alex (changing names here) to 'SHUT UP.' I do not tell kids to shut up, I don't want to use disrespectful language like that in my classroom and I get pissed at them when they do. So why did I tell him to shut up? Because at that moment, Alex did NOT deserve my respect. Alex was not respecting me or my classroom, or his peers. He was wasting learning time and my time, and I was not going to have it. My other two classes followed in a very similar fashion. Me yelling, telling the class they were not performing the way I expected them to, and telling them that it was not in my personality to yell and be angry like this. But that they make me angry, they make me need to raise my voice and be disrespectful becase that seems to be the only way to get their attention.
Today at Whites Creek High, there was a fight. Most probably a gang related fight. It took (from what I can count from fellow teacher's accounts)at least 10 teachers and administrators to break it up. We had to call in police support to fully end it. The entire school felt it. As big as that building is, from my post on the second floor, my kids knew something was going on downstairs and two hallways away. The hallway was raucus, they were running up and down, headed towards the fight, hearded away from it. We shut our doors when most of our kids were in them. Downstairs they locked the kids in so they couldn't join the fighting or egg them on.
"Welcome to Whites Creek" my 4th period class told me. Oh no child, this will NOT be Whites Creek for long, not if Mr. Lang has anything to do with it. This will end. We the teachers and administrators will fight back. And we will fight to give you the chance you deserve. To give you the education you try so hard every day, every minute, to avoid. You need guidance, you need structure and you need discipline, and we are here to give it to you.
So no. I will not quit, I will not back down. I will continue to be a hardass. I will continue to yell until you choose to realize, that I don't need to. I will keep working on lesson plans. I will find ways to make this very hard math understandable to you. And I will continue to remediate where other teachers have failed, or where you my friend have failed to listen. You are not getting rid of me. I will not back down. At least not now. At least not until my lungs tell me I must. But until that day, I will be there, in your face, Gwen, because I learned about proximity. Because I learned about relentless pursuit of results, and I will not stop until I get you to get the results you deserve.
In the process of me not backing down, of me showing up every day ready to teach you not only math, but how to be a respectful human being, I hope that we can gain mutual respect for one another. That we can build relationships that will help you understand why I am trying so hard, and you will know what it is you deserve, what you can get with hard work and dedication--a quality education, a higher education, and a chance to make more of yourself than being in a gang, supporting babies at 18, and working a job you don't love because it is the only one you are qualified for.
That is the fire in my belly, and that, along with adreinalin and caffeine is why I am fired up this evening.
Sarah's quitting (the teacher that worked next door to me) only made me more determined. Only made me realize that these little sh-ts will NOT get the better of me. They will NOT rule my life and they will NOT act out in class. I will show up every day, and I will lay down the law.
Today I wore a full black suit, my hair pulled back, and a no nonsense attitude. I did not give kids warnings, I went straight to angry eyes. I told them to have a seat and get to work, just like I do every day, but today, there was more force behind it.
Today, after repeatedly telling him to be quiet, to pay attention and to stop distracting the class, and still he was talking, I told Alex (changing names here) to 'SHUT UP.' I do not tell kids to shut up, I don't want to use disrespectful language like that in my classroom and I get pissed at them when they do. So why did I tell him to shut up? Because at that moment, Alex did NOT deserve my respect. Alex was not respecting me or my classroom, or his peers. He was wasting learning time and my time, and I was not going to have it. My other two classes followed in a very similar fashion. Me yelling, telling the class they were not performing the way I expected them to, and telling them that it was not in my personality to yell and be angry like this. But that they make me angry, they make me need to raise my voice and be disrespectful becase that seems to be the only way to get their attention.
Today at Whites Creek High, there was a fight. Most probably a gang related fight. It took (from what I can count from fellow teacher's accounts)at least 10 teachers and administrators to break it up. We had to call in police support to fully end it. The entire school felt it. As big as that building is, from my post on the second floor, my kids knew something was going on downstairs and two hallways away. The hallway was raucus, they were running up and down, headed towards the fight, hearded away from it. We shut our doors when most of our kids were in them. Downstairs they locked the kids in so they couldn't join the fighting or egg them on.
"Welcome to Whites Creek" my 4th period class told me. Oh no child, this will NOT be Whites Creek for long, not if Mr. Lang has anything to do with it. This will end. We the teachers and administrators will fight back. And we will fight to give you the chance you deserve. To give you the education you try so hard every day, every minute, to avoid. You need guidance, you need structure and you need discipline, and we are here to give it to you.
So no. I will not quit, I will not back down. I will continue to be a hardass. I will continue to yell until you choose to realize, that I don't need to. I will keep working on lesson plans. I will find ways to make this very hard math understandable to you. And I will continue to remediate where other teachers have failed, or where you my friend have failed to listen. You are not getting rid of me. I will not back down. At least not now. At least not until my lungs tell me I must. But until that day, I will be there, in your face, Gwen, because I learned about proximity. Because I learned about relentless pursuit of results, and I will not stop until I get you to get the results you deserve.
In the process of me not backing down, of me showing up every day ready to teach you not only math, but how to be a respectful human being, I hope that we can gain mutual respect for one another. That we can build relationships that will help you understand why I am trying so hard, and you will know what it is you deserve, what you can get with hard work and dedication--a quality education, a higher education, and a chance to make more of yourself than being in a gang, supporting babies at 18, and working a job you don't love because it is the only one you are qualified for.
That is the fire in my belly, and that, along with adreinalin and caffeine is why I am fired up this evening.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
I thought I would feel better after the weekend....
This job is so hard, I don't know how I am going to come out at the other side. I worked from 10-3 yesterday and from 9-6 today. I didn't accomplish all the things I set out to, and I am nervous I did a terrible job the last two weeks which means my kids are going to fail the tests I have planned for them this week.
I am so scared that this is how my life is going to be for the next 4-5 months--what if staying sane means working 15 hours on the weekend? Where does that leave my sanity and my social life and my visits to Zack and his visits to me. I want to spend time with him and with friends without being nervous I should be planning. I want to sleep. I want to feel like I am making a difference instead of spinning my wheels.
I swear I am giving myself an ulcer or something. When I think of everything I need to do, and everything I need to teach I want to throw up, or cry or hide or something. How am I going to have the strength to do this? Did I really sign up for this? Do I have to go into work tomorrow?
I am so scared every day, every minute of my life is going to be tainted with me being a basket case. Will I be able to keep my head above water when I get back to school each week? I don't want to sacrifice my life, my health, my love for these kids. But I am afraid of failing. I am apparently a perfectionist and want to be good at this damnit. What is the point of the kids being in my classroom if I can't teach them well?...apparently that's why i have put in so many hours. That is why I pull out my hair, don't shower, haven't cooked myself dinner in a week, haven't been to the gym, don't have a voice, and am just now realizing I got very behind on my vest as I cough up green goo every 7 minutes.
What will give? Will it be their education? My sanity? My health?
I am so scared that this is how my life is going to be for the next 4-5 months--what if staying sane means working 15 hours on the weekend? Where does that leave my sanity and my social life and my visits to Zack and his visits to me. I want to spend time with him and with friends without being nervous I should be planning. I want to sleep. I want to feel like I am making a difference instead of spinning my wheels.
I swear I am giving myself an ulcer or something. When I think of everything I need to do, and everything I need to teach I want to throw up, or cry or hide or something. How am I going to have the strength to do this? Did I really sign up for this? Do I have to go into work tomorrow?
I am so scared every day, every minute of my life is going to be tainted with me being a basket case. Will I be able to keep my head above water when I get back to school each week? I don't want to sacrifice my life, my health, my love for these kids. But I am afraid of failing. I am apparently a perfectionist and want to be good at this damnit. What is the point of the kids being in my classroom if I can't teach them well?...apparently that's why i have put in so many hours. That is why I pull out my hair, don't shower, haven't cooked myself dinner in a week, haven't been to the gym, don't have a voice, and am just now realizing I got very behind on my vest as I cough up green goo every 7 minutes.
What will give? Will it be their education? My sanity? My health?
Friday, August 28, 2009
End Week 2 Throwup and lemonade
We have rules in this school, but you would never know it from the way the kids behave. And yes I call them young adults, but they certainly do not act like it.
3rd period, my honors class. Can't get them to pay attention for the life of me. Bell rings and they are rushing out the door, I hear out of the corner of my ear "Shondria threw up" I think they are joking, but then I look, there it is brown liquid on the floor of my classroom...I ask if she's really sick or if she just choked on her diet dr. pepper (note, maybe you shouldn't drink 3 sodas a day and you wouldn't be so sick).
There is throw up on my floor, the classroom is a mess, I need to get ready for the next class to come in. So I call Mr. Surls the head custodian, no answer. I call Ms. Bedell, the woman that sits in the front of Principal Lang's office, no answer. I go out in the hall to get my kids to come in and get to work, realize I don't have a bell ringer to get them to get to work on, I tell Eric who is flirting with some girl in the hall to get into class. She has a lemonade in her hand, she basically dumps it on Eric, the hall, and me. Then RUNS down the hall, away from getting in trouble, and cleaning up after herself. Eric comes into my classroom and makes a stink about how his shirt is wet. I call again. This time Principal Lang answers, I bark, not realizing it's my boss--'There is throwup on my floor and lemonade in the hall'...He reassures me someone will come clean it up. The kids are not pleased, to say the least.
Fast forward to quiz review before we take our quiz today (still in 4th period). I'm not sure how it happened, but somehow Brittney lost part of her weave. Eric (yes, the same Eric who provoked the lemonade fight), took the piece of hair, put it on his head and starts posing for the camera that Shatequa just happened to have handy. The entire class thinks this is hysterical and could care less about polynomial long division.
That was my friday afternoon. How was yours?
3rd period, my honors class. Can't get them to pay attention for the life of me. Bell rings and they are rushing out the door, I hear out of the corner of my ear "Shondria threw up" I think they are joking, but then I look, there it is brown liquid on the floor of my classroom...I ask if she's really sick or if she just choked on her diet dr. pepper (note, maybe you shouldn't drink 3 sodas a day and you wouldn't be so sick).
There is throw up on my floor, the classroom is a mess, I need to get ready for the next class to come in. So I call Mr. Surls the head custodian, no answer. I call Ms. Bedell, the woman that sits in the front of Principal Lang's office, no answer. I go out in the hall to get my kids to come in and get to work, realize I don't have a bell ringer to get them to get to work on, I tell Eric who is flirting with some girl in the hall to get into class. She has a lemonade in her hand, she basically dumps it on Eric, the hall, and me. Then RUNS down the hall, away from getting in trouble, and cleaning up after herself. Eric comes into my classroom and makes a stink about how his shirt is wet. I call again. This time Principal Lang answers, I bark, not realizing it's my boss--'There is throwup on my floor and lemonade in the hall'...He reassures me someone will come clean it up. The kids are not pleased, to say the least.
Fast forward to quiz review before we take our quiz today (still in 4th period). I'm not sure how it happened, but somehow Brittney lost part of her weave. Eric (yes, the same Eric who provoked the lemonade fight), took the piece of hair, put it on his head and starts posing for the camera that Shatequa just happened to have handy. The entire class thinks this is hysterical and could care less about polynomial long division.
That was my friday afternoon. How was yours?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Eye Opening
Things they try to prepare you for but never really can:
1) Arriving at school at 6:00 am to make copies for class, only to find the doors locked.
2) Finally getting into school and needing to line up to make copies at the 1 Rizo machine in the whole school, we only had blue paper and weren't even sure it was ours to use.
3) Getting in a fight with a 16 year old about whether or not she was disrupting my class and asking her to move seats. Then telling her 'This is not an argument' and having her say, 'yes, so why you arguing with me about it?'
4) Working from 2:30pm-7:30pm on diagnostic tests and lesson plans, only to return to the 1 rizo machine in the building to make all my copies (2 2-page hand outs about classroom culture and 9-page tests for 64 students) only to find it was out of ink. Not to mention that would have taken hours.
5) Paying $65 at Kinkos after a tax free and TFA discount for above copies
6) Arriving home at 9:00pm needing to eat, staple 44 of my tests, make mini lesson plans in case we finish early tomorrow, do my vest (yes I still have CF), pay my bills due this week and get to bed at a reasonable hour so I can do it all again tomorrow morning.
Yes. This is hard. Let's hope it gets better....But I am not so sure, I haven't even planned a real lesson yet!
1) Arriving at school at 6:00 am to make copies for class, only to find the doors locked.
2) Finally getting into school and needing to line up to make copies at the 1 Rizo machine in the whole school, we only had blue paper and weren't even sure it was ours to use.
3) Getting in a fight with a 16 year old about whether or not she was disrupting my class and asking her to move seats. Then telling her 'This is not an argument' and having her say, 'yes, so why you arguing with me about it?'
4) Working from 2:30pm-7:30pm on diagnostic tests and lesson plans, only to return to the 1 rizo machine in the building to make all my copies (2 2-page hand outs about classroom culture and 9-page tests for 64 students) only to find it was out of ink. Not to mention that would have taken hours.
5) Paying $65 at Kinkos after a tax free and TFA discount for above copies
6) Arriving home at 9:00pm needing to eat, staple 44 of my tests, make mini lesson plans in case we finish early tomorrow, do my vest (yes I still have CF), pay my bills due this week and get to bed at a reasonable hour so I can do it all again tomorrow morning.
Yes. This is hard. Let's hope it gets better....But I am not so sure, I haven't even planned a real lesson yet!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Proving People Wrong
Whites Creek has a reputation, or five. To start off with, the school was 'Fresh Started' this year. Which means all teachers were handed a pink slip on the last day of school in the spring. Thew new principal only hired back the ones he believed could prove people wrong.
Crips and Bloods are big at our school. My air conditioner told me so (in permanent marker--you better believe that's the only way I know how to spell 'Crips' insteand of 'Crypts')...along with everyone else in Nashville to whom you mention that's where you are teaching.
The average ACT score for our school this past year was a 16. For those unfamiliar with the ACT, the average for admitted students to University of Tennessee is a 23, the average at Vanderbilt is a 30. Our kids didn't have a chance.
But somehow, I think we are going to prove people wrong. Mr. Lang, our principal, has vision. He wants to turn this school around and he seems to really know what it takes to get there. The 50 odd faculty members, both veteran and brand new seem to have so much energy and enthusiasm, as well as a ton of ideas about how to make this school better than it has ever been.
Already students and parents have come into the school and noticed changes. It's cleaner, more open, more well groomed. Lockers are moving, libraries are moving digital, and Mr. Lang wants to build an internet cafe. Not too shabby.
Not that hitting rock bottom is really a good thing. But maybe it took that to shake the school and bring it back. We have so much opportunity here to make a difference. I certainly picked the right school in which to make a difference--not that I picked it at all, I was put there, but every day I'm there (so far anyway) I am glad about it.
I hope this continues when the kids come. I hope the palpable excitement and optimism in the faculty translates to the students fully understanding, and eventually realizing their potential.
For my part, my classroom is fully decked out in Cobra red and blue, my rewards system is almost in order, and I plan to be a hard ass for at least the first 2 weeks. I can't even imagine how far from my plan my classroom management and lessons will stray, or how many times I will need to call for help from the experienced teachers down the hall.
For now, however, I am optimistic that this is, in fact, Whites Creek High School's year to shine, that this is when we turn it around, and facing adversity never meant so much to me, to my students, and to everyone in the building.
Crips and Bloods are big at our school. My air conditioner told me so (in permanent marker--you better believe that's the only way I know how to spell 'Crips' insteand of 'Crypts')...along with everyone else in Nashville to whom you mention that's where you are teaching.
The average ACT score for our school this past year was a 16. For those unfamiliar with the ACT, the average for admitted students to University of Tennessee is a 23, the average at Vanderbilt is a 30. Our kids didn't have a chance.
But somehow, I think we are going to prove people wrong. Mr. Lang, our principal, has vision. He wants to turn this school around and he seems to really know what it takes to get there. The 50 odd faculty members, both veteran and brand new seem to have so much energy and enthusiasm, as well as a ton of ideas about how to make this school better than it has ever been.
Already students and parents have come into the school and noticed changes. It's cleaner, more open, more well groomed. Lockers are moving, libraries are moving digital, and Mr. Lang wants to build an internet cafe. Not too shabby.
Not that hitting rock bottom is really a good thing. But maybe it took that to shake the school and bring it back. We have so much opportunity here to make a difference. I certainly picked the right school in which to make a difference--not that I picked it at all, I was put there, but every day I'm there (so far anyway) I am glad about it.
I hope this continues when the kids come. I hope the palpable excitement and optimism in the faculty translates to the students fully understanding, and eventually realizing their potential.
For my part, my classroom is fully decked out in Cobra red and blue, my rewards system is almost in order, and I plan to be a hard ass for at least the first 2 weeks. I can't even imagine how far from my plan my classroom management and lessons will stray, or how many times I will need to call for help from the experienced teachers down the hall.
For now, however, I am optimistic that this is, in fact, Whites Creek High School's year to shine, that this is when we turn it around, and facing adversity never meant so much to me, to my students, and to everyone in the building.
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